This isn’t
what you may think it’s going to be based on the title.
The
preconceived notions, ideas, beliefs and generally heartfelt hunches people
place on others (often to boost their own deflated egos) can be woefully wrong.
And, I say “wrong” because of what I put in parenthesis above.
EGO…the
downfall of the simple masses and the pride of the elite ruling class. It gets
us all and every time I come face to face with it my head shakes in bemusement
and then it nods as if to say, “Yep, you are wrong but do go on, this should be
good!”
I’m always
curious to know the source of certain beliefs and the one that peaks my
interest the most is the belief that I am still angry or “bitter” about past
relationships. Feeling anger or
bitterness would imply that some depth of feeling, good or bad, still exists
but the truth of the matter is that any level of caring was long ago replaced
with a mild annoyance and now only apathy remains.
“Why are you
still so angry?” I was asked this
recently by someone I once tried to relate to and while I didn’t dignify the
attempt to illicit a negative reaction with a response it caused me to wonder
briefly why they would ask. I don’t know and can only guess but because of the
apathy thing, ya know, I’m not that motivated to get to the truth. To them I am
bitter and angry but to me…I’m just replying to passive-aggressive text
messages in a matter-of-fact way that would make anyone else respond, “Oh,
okay. Thanks. Bye.” But, nope, not this
person, they like to push it.
*For future reference: When I write
about anyone from my past I will be a vague as possible because some of these “writing
prompts” still believe they play a huge part in my real-world life and can’t
seem to accept that they are simply “material” or lessons learned.
Anyway, I
suppose I shouldn’t be forced to revert back to feeling annoyed by this person
but this one moment was like that gnat that keeps flying around your face and
no matter how furiously you swat it just keeps coming back. Be gone! Annoyance
isn’t bitterness per say, it’s just a momentary huff and then it’s gone.
At least that is how I approach it.
We all have
people in, and on the outs, in our lives that misread, over-read or just plain
make shit up about how we feel about certain matters. Bravo to all the
self-proclaimed mind-readers out there! It’s good to see
that ego still chugging along on a tank full of wishful thinking.
Just wanted
to jot down my thoughts on this matter…now it’s time to meditate.
Ohmmm….
